Name: Aryan
Age: 20
Nationality: Iranian
Aryan is a busy architecture student living in Budapest for three years. With a heavy load of studying, he still manages to find some time for partying in between the projects. What he lacks in age, he makes up for social perspective. He lived many years in Dubai and experienced great cultural differences from what we know in Hungary. Overall, Aryan is super optimistic and as he puts it, “I believe home is where the heart is. My heart is right here, right now, in this city!”
What made you come to Budapest?
After living in Dubai for 16 years, my parents had to move back to Iran. I decided to apply to universities abroad rather than studying in Iran. So far, the Technical University of Budapest has turned out to be the most affordable option.
Why Budapest?
Actually, my options were quite limited. I could have either enrolled at a university in Iran or come to Budapest. My parents supported me and my choice to study abroad, so the final result was me staying in Hungary. This decision has changed my life ever since.
How long have you been here?
This is my third year in Budapest; however, it feels longer. I feel so attached to the city and its people. It almost feels like home. I would dare to say, at least for me, it’s quite better than home! But why shouldn’t it be? I can point out several reasons. All political and economic issues aside, Iran can be quite a good place to live despite all limitations. Nevertheless, it’s certainly no place for gay people. It is quite difficult to fully grasp the social and cultural situation in Iran, but overall, people in the Middle East have a very shallow knowledge of homosexuality and their religious background and beliefs compromise their tolerance towards homosexuals even more.
Could you tell us more about how complicated is homosexuality in Iran?
The issue of homophobia in Iran, or generally in the Middle East, is much deeper than we can imagine. The majority of Middle-Eastern people are unable to distinguish between sexual orientation and gender. Moreover, they simply cannot digest the fact that a person can have feelings for another person of the same sex. Therefore, coming out in Iran does not only take lots of gut, but also require lots of patience. The patience to explain what being ‘gay’ really means. The patience to explain that homosexuality is not a disorder, neither a disadvantage. So rather than blaming human beings, I would blame the general lack of knowledge of people towards this subject.
How did your family or society react to your orientation?
I have had several arguments with my mom. Even though she has a much deeper insight into homosexuality than before, she still regards it as a disadvantage. In a culture where kissing in public (even by a heterosexual couple) is still a taboo, acceptance of homosexuality is quite a high expectation. Back in high school, in Dubai, I had no close friends. I found it very difficult to fit into the heterosexual community. Knowing that I wouldn’t be able to express myself in such a homophobic society, I felt it was a dead end. Coming to Budapest was when my real life started. The change was sudden and quite surreal. I found my identity. Budapest was all I never had.
How was life in Dubai compared to your life in Budapest?
This city has a strong character, something that Dubai lacks. Easy and convenient public transport, tons of parties and cheap drinks, these are all ingredients for a perfect student-life. The difficult times for me are over. Yet, there are thousands of gay people in the Middle East who are currently facing similar or even worse situations. Many of whom may never even discover their real sexual orientation.
Have you ever heard of a gay life or community in Dubai or Iran?
Personally, I have never been involved in the gay communities in Iran neither Dubai. However, it is known that such underground communities do exist, even under such circumstances. People should think twice before complaining about the gay life in Budapest. Budapest is definitely not London or Paris and there is still a lot to improve. However, after experiencing life in the Middle East, I believe Budapest offers everything I need.
Have you ever suffered any kind of prejudice in Budapest, Dubai or Iran?
Fortunately not. My personal experience in the past two years has proven that the majority of Hungarians do not care about my sexual orientation, but rather about my behavior. In other words, you get as much as you give.
Author: Gabriel
