Summer is approaching and the race for that rocking summer look is getting more intense. Who doesn’t like some eye-candy on the streets?
Tank tops, outdoor and pool parties, tight swimming trunks and of course, a well-trained body – yes, let’s go a bit stereotypical for a second and admit that in a generic way, this is what summer is about in the eyes of a typical gay guy. Especially now that Instagram is showing us profiles that we all love and hate at the same time with pictures full of flexing, a total guilty pleasure.
But if we leave the stereotype behind and come back to reality, there is a side of all this daydreaming that affects a big portion of the gay community: body-shaming. The constant pressure of that “ideal look” becomes excruciating for a lot of us because we either have to work hard to get there, or a well-shaped body isn’t really our priority but then we are practically overlooked or shamed in the worst cases for not looking like those guys with toned abs. The torso game on Grindr is definitely tougher than RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Let us give you some advice on how to get the best out of this summer on your own body terms!
Make peace with your body: One thing that rules over a nice body is confidence. Yes! Confidence is sexy! And no, we are not telling you to be one of those arrogant and over-confident guys that think they are better than everyone else. We are just saying that what you think of yourself is what you project to others and if you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin, how do you expect others to be okay with it? When you are in front of the mirror taking that naked selfie (most of us do it), stop spending time spotting the flaws and work on accepting your body as it is; give yourself a compliment. You have your own strengths for sure!
If you want change, work for it: Now, it is true that we all have little flaws and there will always be something we would like to improve, even if there is no need. In this case you should either accept it as we just mentioned, or if you really want to change it, then go and work hard for it because shaming yourself and whining in front of the mirror won’t lead you anywhere. Set your goal and don’t stop until you reach it – not for others but for yourself.
Appreciate progress: One of the best feelings when you start to work for your body goals is when you see progress. It is well known that progress doesn’t happen overnight and sometimes we see ourselves so far from the goal that we actually start to wonder if all the effort will be worth it at all. But the best way to get through this is to appreciate progress no matter how small it is. We suggest you to set a clear (and realistic) goal, ideally supervised by a professional, because this way you can keep track in an objective way and not just based on what you see in the mirror; we tend to be very harsh to our own reflection. Yes, you might not be at the state where you wish you were, but you are on your way.
Don’t compare yourself with others: Different genetics, different body goals, different priorities, different lifestyles… there are countless reasons why you should not feel less than that muscled guy lifting a hundred kilos next to you or, for that matter, feel better than that guy who can barely figure out how to use the machine he is about to try. Yes, it is okay to have some role models and people who inspire you to get where you want to be, but no need to mortify yourself thinking “Why don’t I look like that?” Maybe your crush is not into those body types, maybe you are just perfect for him the way you are and you are wasting an opportunity trying to be someone else.
Reward yourself: Make all that hard work pay off! Treat yourself with some rewards because you have earned it. An option would be to go for that food you have been avoiding for some time, which of course you can do, but instead we are going to suggest you to be shameless and show off that progress! It can be a trip to the beach, a shirtless pic on Instagram or actually being one of the half-naked guys at the party. Of course, this is not a necessary thing if you are not into it, but one of the reasons we advise you to do this is because once you free yourself of fear, it feels good to enjoy what you have achieved. You’ve worked for it and there is no shame in being proud of it! There are many ways to reward yourself, so go for whatever makes you prouder.
In fact, whether your choice was to go to sweat it all out in the gym or to love your body the way it is, the important thing is not to let yourself down because of some standards. Once you dare to open up and leave shame behind, you’ll feel like you have nothing to hide and nothing to worry about because you will feel comfortable with yourself, no matter what other people think about you. Remember, body image is not a sure winner over confidence and once you achieve this, you will be ready to tell everyone around: “This is me! I am happy with it. Take it or leave it!”
Now, let’s go get naked!
Germán Henao
